In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.
Carol Dweck
Author of Mindset: The Psychology of Success.
As I was starting my coaching busines, I received lots of messages of support and enthusiasm from those around me, however when I asked them if they would receive coaching themselves, the common response was “I don’t know what it is…” or “I don’t need coaching”, or “I don’t understand the point in coaching”. When I explored this a bit further with a wider group, I realised this misunderstanding or lack of any understanding of coaching was pretty common, and therefore I wanted to do a bit of a myth buster on the common misconceptions of coaching…
“Coaching is a lesser version of counselling”
This is probably one of the most common responses I have received, why would someone get a coach, when they could pay the same (or less than some coaches) for a fully trained therapist or counsellor. Well the answer is simple – Coaching is not counselling! This is something I make really clear in all my sessions, as it is such an important element to understand. Coaching is a future focused tool, to help create an action plan for your development, through really seeking to understand yourself. Coaches may ask questions that explore some elements of the past; however this will be purely to inform the future, and help you move forward. They are not there to help you fix the past or support potential mental health conditions. As someone who has had various forms of therapy AND coaching, it is so important that you see the right person for the right solution. Coaches have different training to therapists and doctors, because they use different tools, and they are there for a different purpose. It is just as important to ensure you are seeking the right type of support for you, so if you are looking for support with your mental health due to health issues or recurring problems, please speak to a medical professional. However, if you are looking to improve your wellbeing, set goals, and achieve a life you really are thriving in, speak to a coach! Both highly skilled, but in very different ways.
“Coaching is all just fluffy nonsense with no substance”
Any coach worth their salt should have undertaken at least one certification or qualification. They should have the basics in training principles, mentoring and coaching best practices, have read research on studies by coaching theorists. I myself took some time off work for a few months to really focus on my learning and development around coaching, to work with study groups, and even to write an academic essay (bit of a shock to the system after ten years out of uni!) I invested in my personal learning around psychometric tests, which I then tested on friends and family at a personal cost to myself. I read books on positive psychology and wellbeing coaching theory. I explored different coaching points of views and tools, for example NLP, something I find so interesting, but some coaches disregard. And when I actually coach my clients, I use these frameworks, I use my technical knowledge and understanding. If after a session, I feel I need to know more on a certain framework or find a different tool and technique, I continue to educate myself. Yes, I am offering a space for my clients to explore their thoughts and feelings, but that is not fluffy, that is what makes you who you are! And with the support of my technical knowledge, tools and techniques, the sessions definitely are filled with substance!
“Coaching is just for the privileged”
This is a personal pet peeve of mine, that quite a lot of coaches out there are targeting a certain demographic, through living an aspirational lifestyle. I feel that this can sometimes leave people feeling a bit disengaged with coaching and see it as something beyond their reach or a bit preachy. The truth is coaching can benefit everyone, and it is one of the reasons I deliberately offer packages and price points that are accessible to those just starting their career, and do not have a lot of disposable income! I remember what it was like to be a student, applying for jobs, scatter-gunning applications without focus. I remember the feeling of frustration and rejection, that would then flow into my personal life. Was I living my best life? No, it was bloody miserable and really hard! If I had had a coach when I was leaving uni, or even when I was considering uni, would I have taken the path I took? Maybe not. Maybe I would have been able to understand my goals and values a bit better and create better objectives and a clearer plan. So no, coaching is not just for the privileged, coaching can benefit anyone, anyone looking to create a more fulfilling life, for them, with their resources, at this moment in time.
“Coaches should have loads of life experience”
One response I have been challenged with as a coach is that I am too young. “What could you know about the world and life”. However, coaches do not have to be old, and personally successful in a similar area to yourself. If you are looking for someone who has had a career you aspire to, or a personal life you aspire to, to discuss and learn from, that is a mentor, not a coach! And it is possible to have both! Coaches are trained to help you understand that you are the expert in you, and we are here to be a safe enabler of your goals. Sometimes it may help to have a coach who has a similar background to yourself, or with career coaching in particular, has some helpful shared experiences. But it is not a compulsory element for your coach. My ability to coach and bring out the best in you, and help you understand yourself, is not defined by my past and my values. As long as you feel comfortable with your coach, and they have the right training and experience that lets you feel open and trusting of them, that is all you need.
“Coaches will solve all your problems”
I will level with you, being coached is not always easy. Coaches are there to challenge you, to push you, and to question you. We make our clients think about things they maybe have not thought of for a long time, or challenge them on why they have done something, or often, not done something. This is all aimed to help the client really start to understand themselves. However, coaches can only take this so far, we are not here to solve all your problems and give you the answers. Why? Because only you are the expert on you! So, in the words of the old proverb, we will lead you to the water, we will support you all the way there, but you are the only who has to drink the water, who has to accept where change needs to happen and to acknowledge how you can start to take those steps towards growth. We can give you all the tools in the world, but you have to be the ones to actually use them.
“Coaches are only helpful when there is a potential challenge”
So of course, when you are at a crossroads in your life, maybe with a job, or with a personal circumstance change, getting a coach can be super helpful, to support you in understanding what you want from that next step, or how to make that next step a successful one. But that is not the only time that coaches can be helpful. Sometimes, when you are feeling most comfortable in your life, that can be a great time to really understand what you want from your life, and what you could be improving or developing on. Having that personal headspace to ask yourself the question, supported by a coach, “what do I really want from my time of this earth?” can be liberating and enlightening. This is why I personally found all my coaching on wellbeing principles, because wellbeing is something that can never be completed, it is an ongoing process. So, even when you are feeling really positive and happy in your life, there are always elements of personal development or growth you can achieve. So, no, coaching is not just for the challenging times, it can be for the times of reflection as well.
“Coaching is just for those in a professional environment “
I have to admit, originally this was something I thought. However, that was because my previous experience of coaching had always been in a work setting. I had had coaching when seeking promotion, or when looking to apply for a challenging new job, in my case on a highly competitive graduate programme. I had been a coach for more junior colleagues and supported them on their work aspirations and goals. Career coaching is invaluable to anyone looking to really thrive in their chosen job or understand if they are in the right job for them. But coaching is not just for the professional side of our lives. I offer life coaching and wellbeing coaching as well. These elements are about challenging the personal side of your life, and where you are, to understand where you wish to be. This can be really helpful if you are looking to achieve a particular goal, for example, losing weight, or finding more joy. I use principles found in positive psychology to understand what makes you as a person joyful or in flow. I seek to understand your personal drivers, and intrinsic and extrinsic motivators. Take the example of losing weight, it’s one of the most common goals we have as a nation. However, have you asked yourself why YOU want to lose weight. Not because you have to, not because someone has told you to, but why is this something that you personally want, for yourself? This is the sort of challenge I would help you explore in life and wellbeing coaching, as if we are able to understand these elements, we are so much more likely to succeed. So coaching is great in a professional environment, but it is also great in the personal side of your life as well.
These are just a few myth-busters, but I am sure there are so many more, drop me an email or a message with any thoughts, questions or even misconceptions on coaching you may have, and I shall do my very best to support you!
Sunflower Coaching 