Tag: covid

“Your Wealth is your Health”

Sunflower Coaching

So, as some people may have noticed, I have been a little quiet on here over the past month and a bit. The reason? Well after 15months of avoiding Covid, it finally got me. Boo!

Having caught Covid with a small group of friends, all 8 of us contracted the illness, and between us we suffered the full spectrum of symptoms. From the normal flu like symptoms, to extreme fatigue, loss of smell and taste, bad tummies, covid brain (mistaking strawberries for tomatoes…), and the horrible aches and pains that literally keep you up at night. This is a group of healthy, 29/30 year olds, two of whom had had both the vaccines. That is the power of Covid.

For the first week or so, it seemed like I had it to the same degree as the others, maybe a couple of days behind symptoms-wise, but following the same route. However on day 7 from when we first developed symptoms, whilst everyone else appeared to be starting to feel better, I went downhill. I actually had a job interview that morning, and managed to mumble my way through over the zoom call, every now and again realising my head had actually slipped below the camera frame. After the call, I was shaking, I felt so nauseous that I could barely move my head, and I just slept. That was the Thursday, and from Thursday until Sunday I was unable to eat or drink a single thing, not just because I couldn’t smell or taste it (Which is highly frustrating, especially when my mum bought us my fave fish and chips as a post interview treat), but it wouldn’t stay down. By the Saturday evening I was severely dehydrated, and was having kidney pain, which initially we thought was a kidney infection, but turned out to just be Covid.

At 4am on Sunday morning, I asked my mum to call 111, and I am so glad I did. They got me into hospital for a Covid Appointment at 8am. I could barely walk to the car, I was so weak. And the car journey made my pain in my side and nausea 1000 times worse. I apparently even said the words, “I just want to die”, and reflecting on this, although a little dramatic (ok quite a lot dramatic), I can understand why. I felt the worst I had ever felt in my whole life.

As soon as I saw the doctor, he told me I had a fever of 38.9. High, right? During my stay in hospital, this would go up to 42.1! I was actually diagnosed with Covid Pneumonia, meaning it was visible all over my lungs through an x-ray and CT scan. I had felt dramatic for going to hospital, but when the doctor said I think it is time to admit you, I was shocked! I don’t think, even with how bad I felt, I realised how unwell I was. My mother and I then sat in a room for the next 12 hours, waiting for them to work out what to do with me, as they only had one Covid patient in the hospital and therefore had closed down the wards. During this time, there was a whole adventure of trying to find a vein in my crappy arms, and also some anti nausea medicine that apparently made me start tripping and rambling complete nonsense. Eventually, I was shown to a little corner of the hospital, where I was given my own room, and only one nurse per shift was allowed to come into the room, to try and limit the spread. the other Covid patient was in the room next door to me, and was about 50 years older than I am. Sadly whilst I was there, a third patient was admitted, and was put on a ventilator. Because of being in separate rooms, I could not see this happening, thankfully, but the panic and upset in the doctors and nurses was obvious, as they could sense Covid gradually starting again.

I was in hospital for 3.5 days, and with the help of LOTS of fluids, steroids, blood thinners, oxygen, antibiotics, anti nausea medicine (my saviour!), potassium, and a few other things, I was able to go home and recover in my own bed (well my bed, at my mums, having caught Covid 4 hours away from London). Although I felt rough, and incredibly weak, I was ok. I was able to eat (toast, lots of toast), and even better, drink again! I was so scared I would be sick every time I had a sip of water, but gradually building up that confidence again and realising how much better I felt when I was hydrated was amazing!

So, why am I being so open about all of this. Well, during my time in hospital, my mum kept saying a phrase to me, “your health is your wealth”. This is something she and my grandma have said my entire life, but I have never really thought about before. Of course, I understand it and I agree with the statement. But whilst I was in hospital, I felt like my knees and legs were being drilled into (Covid aches and pains), I felt so unwell I couldn’t eat or drink, and I actually couldn’t keep anything down if I had felt able to. I felt so unwell I couldn’t walk to the toilet without help, and when I would get back into bed, I would just sleep because 5 steps had taken it out of me. And I sat there, and reflected on this, and how without our health, we have very little.

Now this is not to say that for those people who have long term medical issues, physical or mental, cannot live a fulfilled life or a good, wealthy life. But it just makes our starting point that little bit harder. We come into this world, each unique and beautiful, and each with our own limitations. We learn to live with this, and adapt to this. But if you neglect your health, you loose so much more than if you have no money or physical possessions. Without your health, you are vulnerable, you have pain, you have struggle. Your health is the most important thing you have, and thing you can give or help another human being protect. Furthermore, similar to money, it can take moments to ruin your health, and years to rebuild what you had. It is so much harder to strengthen and protect yourself without your health in tact.

So why did Covid make me think of this, well because it scared me. It scared me to see how something I cannot see and had been so careful about could affect me, a healthy 29 year old. It made me realise that in this world, we are only here for a short amount of time, and in that time we have to live the best life we can, as I have said many times before, “a life worth living”. and to do this I need my health to be the best it can be, both mentally and physically. Without this, we are limited, we are held back. We need out health to have the strength, the energy, the power to keep going, and the better the health the easier certain things are.

So, I wanted to share this with you, not as a horror story, because things could have been so much worse, but as an opportunity. This is your opportunity to reflect on your health, physical, mental, emotional, and consider how wealthy you really are? And what can you do to look after yourself and build that health wealth further. Covid has been a time of great sorrow and losses, and I shall never forget seeing the nurses going in to treat the man in the room next to me, because it really was heartbreaking, but we can now make it a time for us to reflect and grow, and become stronger than we were before. As these variants take hold, lets adapt ourselves as well, lets grow as well, and show Covid that we have more resources that it ever will do.

And if you need any help in this reflection or a growth plan, you know where to find me…. 🙂

Stay safe everyone, we are almost there! And remember, you have so much, if you have your health.

How do we return to the old, when the new just became our normal?

Sunflower Coaching

They are having a hard time surviving the peace, after they survived the war

Loung Ung, Cambodian-American Activist

We made it through a pandemic, well done us!

It has been a long, hard year, and for many of us, it has really made us reflect on what is important to us, what makes us tick, and what makes us shine. It has been a year where we have reflected, where we have moaned, fought, laughed (ironically and not so ironically), where we have rested, clapped, and for many of us developed a new normal. So many people I know have developed new coping mechanisms in order to survive the past year, and for many it has been about looking internally, and making their world a little smaller. That doesn’t mean smaller, in the sense of importance, it means smaller in the sense of pace and scale. Instead of running on the hamster wheel of life, we have found more time for our family, and for ourselves. Instead of working 12 hours days, and then networking or socialising, we have found ways to switch off, to separate home and work, and also to prioritise what makes us happy, but also who is necessary for that that happiness within our lives.

When we struggle, we often close ourselves to the outside, and so often a way out of a depression or an state of anxiety is to talk about it, to speak to people, and share your feelings. For some people this comes naturally, for others it is much harder, as they are internal reflectors, or they find sharing that vulnerability scary. During this pandemic, how often have you reached out to someone close to you and said, “this is hard”. or “I am struggling”. Have you found that you have done this more or less that normal? From speaking to people in my life, I have found people have been able to express this more freely, they have been more vulnerable, and they have been more open about their fears or their struggles. Why is this?

On reflection I think this is about a shared experience of hardship. We have all experienced a similar change to the normal life we live in. We all have an understanding of what this pandemic has done to our normal. It has, in many ways, allowed us to be more open with our friends and family, because we haven’t had to explain why we are finding it hard, because everyone is finding it hard.

So, to the present day. Excitement, joy, hope, planning. These are all things occurring right now! The world is gradually opening up, and you only have to glance at social media to see picnics, brunches, pub gardens and the rest. So why is it that so many people are struggling with anxiety more than ever now, when what we have all been wanting for the past year or so, is finally coming to fruition?

We, as humans, are creatures of habit. And over the past year, we have finally found our routine, or step in time. We have found an ability to make time for each other, to feel less pressured about FOMO, or about filling a diary. That pressure has been removed by a greater being, not by ourselves, and that removal of choice has taken the responsibility away from us. If we break down that word, responsibility, what do we get? The ability to respond. being ABLE to respond. We, for the past year, have not been able to respond to that pressure, and therefore if you are unable to do something, you remove it as a worry. For example, I am not able to fly, it would be delightful, but it is not possible, so my response to that ability is gone. I do not even need to think of a response. If you are able, so for example I am able to get on a plane, and visit family, but my response to that ability is nerves or fear, because of an underlying anxiety, then my response to that ability may be worry or pressure. For the past year, because our ability has been removed, our response, even though we may have shared frustration, has been to create a new normal, and new habits. So why does that lead to anxiety now?

As we come out of lockdown, we now have the ability to see people, to make plans, even to potentially look to the future, and re-fill that diary that has laid empty for the past year. With that ability, we have now got to respond. And with that responsibility, comes pressure. But when we have spent the past year creating a new normal, are we ready to return to our old lives? are we ready to re-establish that hamster wheel, and give in to the pressure of the world around us, as it was.

For many people, this responsibility is leading to anxiety, so how do we overcome this anxiety? Well, we change the response!

Instead of letting ourselves feel that pressure, we need to give ourselves time, we need to understand that we are still going through a shared experience, so we can still voice our concerns. You can still say to people “this is hard.” or “I am struggling.”, and I bet you will be surprised how many people will agree. Rather than give into the pressure of living how we used to, lets take some learnings from the past year and bring them into our normal now. Just because we are returning to life as we may have known it, does not mean we have to bring that responsibility and pressure of the past. Instead, lets treat this as an opportunity to create a new, new normal, with learnings from the old AND the pandemic. Give yourself permission to live life how you want, with the freedoms of now, but with the learnings of the past year.

Stay Safe!